Who put that wall there?

I pimped Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe last week, and for good reason because it’s brilliant.  This week’s show was a complete departure from the normal format of dissecting (read: taking the piss out of) television shows.  This week, Brooker interviewed a number of successful television writers, discussing a range of topics related to the writing of television shows.  As you can imagine, the appeal of this week’s show was limited to those interested in such things.  Luckily I am, so I enjoyed it.  And if you are, take a look on iplayer.

One of the interesting things discussed that seemed to be common for a number of writers was the feeling that, despite their successes, they always felt like at any moment they would be found out for not being that good at all.  This is something that I’m always feeling, be it working in IT or writing.  That sooner of later I’m going to be rumbled and politely asked to stop, for the good of everyone.  It’s reassuring to know that even established writers feel that way.  Although of course, just because they feel that way too, doesn’t mean it’s not actually going to happen to me…

Still pushing on with the writing, though I hit a pretty massive block last night.  I realised a pretty important part of the plot doesn’t actually make sense when you think about it.  It’s such a big logic hole that I don’t know how I managed to miss it.  So now I have to rethink it.  The problem is that changing one part of it has knock on effects elsewhere in the story, as in if this doesn’t happen this way, characters who need to meet, won’t.  I think I have a solution but I’m still thinking it over.  I don’t want to risk it coming off as contrived in trying to connect strands together.  If this were Prison Break, I would just leave it as it is and hope no one notices.  But sadly it’s not Prison Break.

Happy St Andrews Day!

With a month left in the year it seems pretty unlikely that I will have the novel finished by then.  Not unless I write at a rate of around 2000 words a day every day for the whole of December.  Anyone keeping score will appreciate that that probably won’t happen.  I am still writing, but at a rate that is not really helping myself.  I will finish the thing next year though.  Promise.

It’s been a bit of a trying week to be honest, glad it’s over.  It’s St Andrews day of course.  You knew that.  I quite like how the Scottish Government are really trying to push the day as a big deal in Scotland, in the same way St Patricks day is in Ireland.  Getting more money coming into the country can only be a good thing, even if it does mean avoiding more and more tourists taking pictures during my lunch hour.

Oh yeah, if you’re not watching Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe (BBC4, 10.30pm Tuesday) already then make sure you give it a look this week.  Never seen it before?  Youtube is your friend.

Brand, Bond and Zombies

This week I have mostly been hearing about Brand and Bond.  It’s hard to say what got more on my tits.  The Ross/Brand stuff has been completely perplexing the way it has just gotten so far beyond out of control.   Talk about a story where just about everyone involved has looked bad.  I’m not much of a fan of Brand or Ross but there have been times this week where I have had to remind myself that neither actually raped or killed anyone.  The fact that people have resigned over this mess is mind-boggling.  You have to love the British media.  God help you if you don’t.

As for Bond, well apparently there is a new film of his out this week.  Yeah I know, they kept that quiet.  The advertising for the film was so exhaustive that for the last week the studio actually hired a guy to stand in my kitchen and scream ‘BOOOOOOOOOND’ at me whenever I went in it.  I have to confess that it worked though as I went to see the film today.  It’s alright.  It’s what you would expect if you’ve seen Casino Royale.  Probably not any more or any less.

I’ve been watching Charlie Brooker’s Dead Set this week.  I tend not to watch a lot of british tv shows because they have the annoying tendency to be quite rubbish.  But Brooker is fantastic so I was always going to give this a look.  So glad I did.  Most entertaining thing I’ve watched in months on the television.  The only thing that sucked about it was it being only five episodes long.  It could easily have been longer.  I just hope that the critical success this has had leads to more from Brooker.  Hopefully screenwipe will be back soon too.

Writing is still going slow.  I made some progress but not enough to be shouting about.  I’m going to send off my second short story tomorrow so we’ll see how that goes.  Should have a bit more time to write this week.  Whether I’ll use that time is another question.

Still Editing/Game

I started another short story tonight. I want to try and finish a few over the next few months, maybe even enter a few competitions. Hopefully I can finish it by the end of the week.

Did a bit more editing tonight. Not a lot, but some. It’s good to read something you’ve written and not think it’s total crap. Although then I start wondering if I’m just being too soft on myself. I have what is pretty much an open invitation for someone to critique the novel. I’m thinking I will take him up on the offer once I complete the second draft. It would be nice to get some feedback. I think part of what makes me want to get a few short stories sent off is the chance to get some kind of encouragement that what I’m doing doesn’t completely suck.

On a completely different subject I am completely hooked on Still Game at the moment. I did what I am sometimes guilty of when it comes to TV shows, namely blowing it off as being rubbish without actually bothering to watch it. There are worse circumstances to be made to look like an idiot though, when all it means is I have loads of series waiting to be watched. I am just about to start series 4 now. No doubt I will get through them all pretty soon and then be sad as a result.  Ah well.

The X-Files

I passed 2000 words today. Hurrah! It was harder work than it probably should have been. Maybe that’s symptomatic of me not really knowing where it’s heading still or just my own laziness. A little from column A, a little from column B maybe.

I’ve been getting back into watching X-Files this weekend. I realised I have to as the new movie comes out in a couple of weeks and I’m not up to speed on the whole thing. I watched right up till about a 1/3 of the way into series 8 and then just gave up. I didn’t even bother with series 9. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it past that point, even though that was when The T-1000 joined the show, I was just in the habit of taping the shows and then not being bothered to watch the tapes. Unbelievably I did the same with the Sopranos at one point but managed to catch up by buying a DVD boxset and watching it all over the course of a weekend. That was fun. I suppose I always thought I would watch the rest of the X-Files at some point but the movie coming out pushes the issue for me. Watched two earlier today and surprised that I haven’t really forgotten all that much. Better get back to them actually. See, I can force myself to do some types of work.

Getting better

Still off work today. I feel a lot better but still quite weak. Probably because I’ve only had one slice of toast since Tuesday. I’m on the mend though and should be back to work tomorrow. I hate being off ill.

So I’ve been watching the discovery channels today. I watch a documentary on National Geographic called “Was Darwin Wrong?” which I thought was going to be some creationist agenda driven programme. I think that was the point as it basically concluded that no Darwin wasn’t wrong so stop being stupid creationists. I imagine the programme was given this title so that people who believed that life was essentially made by magic would be fooled into watching the programme. And creationists probably aren’t the hardest people to fool I would think.

Some of the adverts that play during the day are really quite sinister I’ve noticed. They seem to pray on elderly women, people involved in accidents or the stupid. Or all three in some cases. If humanity was ever to be indicted, these adverts would be presented as evidence against us. And knowing our luck our lawyers would be creationists.

The New Novel and learning stuff from off of the telly

Well I’m now 762 words in to the crime novel. I’ve written the opening scene, which basically depicts a murder/suicide. I know how the next couple of chapters will probably go, but beyond that I’m not sure where the thing is heading. Maybe that’s a good thing or maybe it’s a bad thing. I’ll find out. In writing the first novel, I always knew where I was heading which helped keep the structure of the thing focused. Although saying that, the ending wasn’t always going to be what it became. But at least everything I was doing was building towards the conclusion. This time I have no ending in mind so it will be interesting to see how that affects the structure.

I traded in the Kids TV mix in favour of the Knowledge mix on my Sky package at the weekend. I have no idea why we ever had the Kids TV mix. Neither of us is a kid (and lets be honest, if one of us is a kid then the other one is in a lot of trouble) and we don’t have kids. I guess we figured we would watch kids programmes I suppose, but other than watching Sesame Street a couple of times, mainly just to confirm that it is in fact still running, we never watched any of the channels. So now we have things like the Discovery channel to watch. Which I will definitely do from time to time. I like learning about the Nazis for example. For historical purposes only of course, not because I’m a fan. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I’m strongly Anti-Nazis. Anywho, I now access to lots of Crime documentaries so maybe I will be able to rip off/borrow ideas from there now. It beats ripping off Hollyoaks!

No, in all seriousness, I am at least as Anti-Hollyoaks as I am Anti-Nazis. At least.

Reverse Pterodactyl? Bugger off

I’m up to 2037 words. Didn’t have as much time to write tonight because of my driving lesson. Tomorrow and Saturday are going to have to be very productive. I might be going to the cinema to see The Happening tomorrow as well, so lord knows how I’m going to pull this off.

As usual, I failed to pick the Apprentice winner. Next year I am going to decide who I really want to win then just pick the opposite, which seems to be how most weeks have gone this season.

Tragedy

2063 words written so far this week.  It’s really not ideal going with two days to go.  We’ll see if I can pull it off though.  It’s going to be pretty tight I think.

What a result last night eh?  Twist and turns all the way.  You thought you knew how it was going and then bam, the whole thing turns on it’s head.  Man Utd?  What?  No, I’m talking about Raef getting fired on the apprentice.  What the hell is a Chelsea anyway?  Michael is still in as well.  I don’t think it’s in any way hyperbole or overreacting to say that this is the worst tragedy in human history.  Even greater than the constant recommisioning of My Family by the BBC.  It’s like a nightmare come to life.  But none of us will ever wake up from it.

Commando

Haven’t written anything so far today.  I might later on.  I am going to homebase soon to find a table for my garden since we are getting some decent weather of late.  Last night I watched Schwarzenneger classic Commando on channel 4.  It’s absolute rubbish but it’s one of those films that is so bad it almost becomes good.  It includes classic quotes from Arnie such as “Do me a favour – don’t disturb my friend. He’s dead tired!”, “Remember, Sally, when I promised to kill you last?…….I lied!”, followed by “What did you do to Sally?” “I let him go”.  All of these pale into comparison next to Arnie’s quote at the end of the film when he kills arch-rival Bennett by putting a steam pipe through his chest (duh, what else?).  What does Arnie say.  The only thing he can say under those circumstances: “Let off some steam Bennett!”

Beautiful.  This is the kind of writing I must aspire to one day achieve.